R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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