I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Non-Jews are for practice
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
