my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
third nipple confirmed
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
