Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
