What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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