i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
