I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
