Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
