Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
