ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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