She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
