Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
