I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize