well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
