people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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