So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize