I think i peed on brittanys purse
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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