Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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