hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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