We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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