I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
vagina is talking i cant
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
