I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I use my feet as sexual weapons
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
