There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize