Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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