yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
