Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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