Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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