i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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