what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
