Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
