clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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