They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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