Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize