how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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