Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
