I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize