Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
