it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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