More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
