we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
