great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
