I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
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I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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