you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
