That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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