You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
