i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
