Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
