My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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