Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
