i just wanna soil my oats bro
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize