I wish I could teleport
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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