Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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