How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related