we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
