Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I believe in your delicious
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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