Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
