i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dating After Heartbreak
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð