we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.