I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.