Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
