if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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